Eva, they say, you’re quiet tonight. They get nervous when I’m quiet – these friends of mine – and they’re not wrong to be. I like to talk, and I can do it in twoalmostfour languages. It’s rare that I stop – What’s that? What’s that word mean? Conjugate this verb in dialect for me. […]
Ten Italian Songs You Would Love if You Knew They Existed

Today, I present you with Ten Italian Songs You Would Love if You Knew They Existed. The older songs are songs my parents raised me on and the more recent ones are songs I’ve come into contact with since I’ve been living in this crazy boot. The reason you will love these songs is because […]
Friday Fix – Old Man Angelo on Going Out

I’m in Vienna and hungover but it’s Friday and I promised you (or mainly myself) to pop out an Old Man Angelo fix on this holiest of days so: OLD MAN ANGELO: Eva, I’m going now. ME: Great. OLD MAN ANGELO: I’m tired. I’m going straight to bed. ME: No partying tonight? OLD MAN ANGELO: […]
Friday Fix – Old Man Angelo on Successful Marriages

OLD MAN ANGELO: All men cheat on their wives. ME: Is that so. OLD MAN ANGELO: Yes. In fact, there is only one woman a man will never cheat on. ME: Really. OLD MAN ANGELO: Yes. A pumitrozzola. ME: A what now? OLD MAN ANGELO: A pumitrozzola. It’s a portmanteau. PU – puttana*- MI – […]
Keeper of the Castle: A Play in One Act

CAST OF CHARACTERS EVA: Writer. American. Early 30s. Breathtakingly gorgeous. OLD MAN ANGELO: Pensioner. Early 60s. Italian. Haunts the bar where Eva goes to write. Scatters outrageous, unsolicited advice like so much birdseed. MARCO: Policeman. Italian. Mid-40s. MARCO was once one of Eva’s interview subjects for an article she was planning to write. FRANCESCO: MARCO’s […]
Usurpers to the Throne

The usual hours and the usual parking spot and the usual teenage boys behind the bar who take bets on what flavor of fruit juice I’ll be drinking today; if I’ll accept the aperitivo or no; if I’ll get any writing done while Old Man Antonio lectures me on exactly what my problem is […]
Blue Roses

At night, there are the nightspots and free concerts. My group of friends tends to meet up around midnight – when my friends in the tourism and hotel industry get off from work; when the nightspots start getting packed – and those of us who don’t live at home* and might not have eaten dinner […]
USA vs. USA

What happens sometimes – when you’re living in a foreign country, a country where you’re almost one of a kind – is that people want to pair you up with other stray members of your species. There’s another American who lives three towns over, they say. I’ll invite him over. You can chest bump […]
Office

The office is where I am these days; that is, the 113 year-old bar in the Centro with my laptop and my cell phone and my glass of vibrant orange Crodino. I’ve officially become a great big ball of novel-writing momentum, which is why I’m there and not here with ye would be-pigeon eaters but […]