A few years ago, a friend asked me if I would do PR for one of the olive oil factories he managed. He explained they needed an American to write copy for their new international website and negotiate an importation deal with the FDA and it had to be an American because an American news […]
Ten
August, 2020 Five days ago, we ordered our bed. It is the first piece of furniture we’ve ordered for the place, which for the days since we’ve moved back in, has lain stark and bare, like the dining room, like the foyer. We feel no rush. After all, while the renovations were being done, we […]
Eau du Thief
Don’t quote me on this because I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, but there was this study somewhere, at some time, done by some psychologists. Basically, these psychologists set up two rooms – Candy Shop A, and Candy Shop B. Both Candy Shop A and Candy Shop B were virtually identical; […]
Why I Did Not Celebrate Halloween (and Will Not Celebrate Thanksgiving)
The zucche are back in season – round squash with bright melon-like flesh and ivory-colored bulletproof rinds. I see heaps of them in a plastic milk crate at the market and think about it for a heartbeat, but then remember the toughness of that rind, my desperate awkwardness with knives and, above all, the fact […]
The Sound of Silence
Eva, they say, you’re quiet tonight. They get nervous when I’m quiet – these friends of mine – and they’re not wrong to be. I like to talk, and I can do it in twoalmostfour languages. It’s rare that I stop – What’s that? What’s that word mean? Conjugate this verb in dialect for me. […]
- Italy
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Things I Will Never Get Used to About Living in Italy. A Love Rant.
School is out, the rains have gone, and once again, the beach umbrellas are up along the curving beach. It’s officially my third summer on the Italian seashore. Lather up the sunscreen. Rinse off the sand. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I’m a pro at this Terracina beach life by now. The tourists are back, just as […]
- Food Culture
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Food Slut
It’s April 5th and we’re in Hungary: in Budapest, at an Easter Market, staring down wooden kiosks laden with painted Easter Eggs, bottles of elderflower syrup and strawberry wine; giant cast iron skillets heaped with fat red sausages, rainbow-colored root vegetables, and spicy potatoes. One kiosk attendant stirs a black cauldron full of porky, savory […]
Ten Italian Songs You Would Love if You Knew They Existed
You silly Italians with your love of English-language songs even though you have no idea what they mean! You crack me up. I love you. You make me warm inside, even as I chuckle sardonically each time I hear a DJ attempt to translate a song title – half the time, you dorks are wrong. […]
Friday Fix – Old Man Antonio on Going Out
I’m in Vienna and hungover but it’s Friday and I promised you (or mainly myself) to pop out an Old Man Antonio fix on this holiest of days so: OLD MAN ANTONIO: E, I’m going now. ME: Great. OLD MAN ANTONIO: I’m tired. I’m going straight to bed. ME: No partying tonight? OLD MAN ANTONIO: […]
Friday Fix – Old Man Antonio on Successful Marriages
OLD MAN ANTONIO: All men cheat on their wives. ME: Is that so. OLD MAN ANTONIO: Yes. In fact, there is only one woman a man will never cheat on. ME: Really. OLD MAN ANTONIO: Yes. A pumitrozzola. ME: A what now? OLD MAN ANTONIO: A pumitrozzola. It’s a portmanteau. PU – puttana*- MI – […]