Every once in a while – amid my weekly passion plays for the students’ attention – a teensy bit of English gets taught. Just a bit. A very little bit. Today was my last day teaching my Thursday maniacs and in the last minutes of that last class, I witnessed the best use of demonstrative […]
“Teaching” English
The Lion in Winter
It’s never difficult to tell when Nakata-san has arrived; his “Konnichiwa!” is loud, authoritative, and sends the staff into a tizzy of keigo and bowing. I am usually in the 2 foot-square break area when he descends upon us, at the ready with my single piece of paper and a sheet of news topics to […]
Super Funny
I will now report my precious 3 year olds’ joke of the day: “Super + ______ = UNBRIDLED HILARITY!!!” Super police car. Super chicken! Super baby. Super hospital! Super apple! Super Masa! Super Mia! Super Kazuya! Super Minna! Super Eba-sensei! Admit it. You’re dying out there.
The Mystery of the Ubiquitous and Radiant Train Station Ad Model
She’s everywhere. Serene and regal, her image stalks me from ad posters plastered all over the walls of almost every commuter train station I pass through. She’s always photographed against iconic Japanese backgrounds: a serene temple surrounded by deer and cherry blossom trees, a ryokan inn heated by the steam of a nearby hot spring. […]
Hostess Cupcake
The two year-olds have been ganging up on me lately, ever since Kazuya had the brilliant idea of asking me if class was over when it was only halfway through. Because I feigned hurt feelings, Kazuya decided this was to be our inside joke and now asks me if class is finished every 30 […]
Rewrites
After the day’s grammar lesson, our adult students have the opportunity to tell us a brief story, so that we can check their grammar. Part of the reason our students come to our school is for hardcore corrections, the reasoning being that without the correction, they could just crack open an English textbook with their […]
Sleeping in Coffins
This is the comic strip I think of each Friday when I encounter Mia, one of my 4 year old students, in the bathroom right before class. In addition to sharing a 3:30 appointment, Mia and I also apparently share a bathroom schedule, which I think says more about my recent green tea overload than […]
Freedom of Speech
The children aren’t supposed to speak Japanese in class, but they do. I’m supposed to discourage them but, out of laziness and selfishness, I don’t. Lazy, because when they speak Japanese to each other I can tell if they understand the day’s lesson and selfish because I’ve learned more than a few good turns of […]
Old and/or Clueless
My students have discovered that I – old and therefore clueless – might know something worth knowing from time to time. In between learning games, they love to find out exactly what knowledge is rattling around in this aged brain o’ mine. “Mario to Luigi shitteru?” they demand. “Yeah, I know Mario and Luigi.” “Ehhhhhhhh!!!!!!” […]
Hokey
There is just no point in introducing The Hokey Pokey to school children if you want them to learn anything at all; an adult dancing in a suit and stocking feet is ridiculous enough but the instant they hear the word “bottom,” figure out what it means and see yours seductively shaking all about, you’ve […]