You silly Italians with your love of English-language songs even though you have no idea what they mean! You crack me up. I love you. You make me warm inside, even as I chuckle sardonically each time I hear a DJ attempt to translate a song title – half the time, you dorks are wrong. […]
Italian
Friday Fix – Old Man Angelo on Successful Marriages
OLD MAN ANGELO: All men cheat on their wives. ME: Is that so. OLD MAN ANGELO: Yes. In fact, there is only one woman a man will never cheat on. ME: Really. OLD MAN ANGELO: Yes. A pumitrozzola. ME: A what now? OLD MAN ANGELO: A pumitrozzola. It’s a portmanteau. PU – puttana*- MI – […]
Keeper of the Castle: A Play in One Act
CAST OF CHARACTERS EVA: Writer. American. Early 30s. Breathtakingly gorgeous. OLD MAN ANGELO: Pensioner. Early 60s. Italian. Haunts the bar where Eva goes to write. Scatters outrageous, unsolicited advice like so much birdseed. MARCO: Policeman. Italian. Mid-40s. MARCO was once one of Eva’s interview subjects for an article she was planning to write. FRANCESCO: MARCO’s […]
The Mayor, the Policeman, and the Termosifone
So I’ve applied for my residency here in Terracina. It. Has been. A wild pain in my ass. This, despite being an Italian citizen. This, despite speaking Italian. This, despite making the request with my native Italian mother in tow. Sorry, the man you need to speak to isn’t here today. Oh, well, actually, he […]
The Handyman of Via Bad Homburg
(The sound of whistling up the steps; the loud zap of a doorbell) Leone: Good murning, E. Myself: Salve, Leone. Thank you for coming – this gas leak has really made me nervous. Leone: Nuthing to worry about! Jusht let me see what the prublem ish. Myself: Okay. Please do. I was so nervous about […]
Photo Friday: Cats and Roman Ruins
Cat, always to be/ found prowling Rome’s ancient stones/ You and all your ilk. This post has been brought to you by Delicious Baby Photo Friday.
Signora/Signorina
In Italian, you address a man as signor. You address a woman – mature, married – as signora. A younger woman – ostensibly unmarried, unattached to children – as signorina. 1 signorina, 2 or more signorine. Where do I fit in at 30? I’m unmarried. There are no children around my ankles. And yet – […]