Found: the Eucharist in Japan. In the Weight Loss section of your friendly local pharmacy. Obviously.
Crimes Against the English Language
Total Salvation
The invitations for the aforementioned Housecooling Sayonara Sale have been sent, the ryokan for the Snow Monkey Onsen in Nagano is booked and the “To Do” checklist has been drawn up. Today’s mission: Donate Unwanted Clothes to the Salvation Army. I tried to do this before, a couple of months ago. I crammed a suitcase […]
In Which I Alienate Half of My Readers
It must be done: the once-a-year Well Woman check up. My doctor – advertised as English-speaking – happens to have a sign in both Japanese and English in the ante room behind a heavy curtain. Automatically, my eyes went to the English first: Take off your shorts and assume the position. “Gulp” is right.
Incidentally
Today, a student – who had been making whistling noises through his pencil cap, belching answers, and ignoring instructions he full well understood – reacted to my closing his workbook for him by calling me a bully. That’s all right; in my head, I called him something much worse. He may one day regret that […]
Boiled Crap
According to Yahoo! News – and various other publications – winning the bid for the 2008 Olympics has inspired Beijing to finally take the plunge and fix the Engrish that has run rampant on their signs and menus for decades. The rest of China is expected to follow suit. Japan, take note. A few shots […]
summatto
Yesterday, I taught a student who couldn’t hear the difference between “straight” and “street.” Since our lesson focused on Western hospitality – “how do you take your coffee?” “street!” – this issue came up several times. First, I attempted to correct his pronunciation to no avail. Then, on a piece of scrap paper, I drew […]