(The sound of whistling up the steps; the loud zap of a doorbell)

Leone: Good murning, Ulivia.

Myself: Salve, Leone. Thank you for coming – this gas leak has really made me nervous.

Leone: Nuthing to worry about! Jusht let me see what the prublem ish.

Myself: Okay. Please do. I was so nervous about going to sleep last night and I shut all the windows really tightly and took a cold shower and just ate cold prosciutto and mozzarella for dinner so I wouldn’t have to open the gas….

Leone: Mamma mia, how you worry. Ukay, well, let’s shee.

(hunches over; sniffs the gas tank like a dog. Inhales deeply)

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