(The sound of whistling up the steps; the loud zap of a doorbell)
Leone: Good murning, Ulivia.
Myself: Salve, Leone. Thank you for coming – this gas leak has really made me nervous.
Leone: Nuthing to worry about! Jusht let me see what the prublem ish.
Myself: Okay. Please do. I was so nervous about going to sleep last night and I shut all the windows really tightly and took a cold shower and just ate cold prosciutto and mozzarella for dinner so I wouldn’t have to open the gas….
Leone: Mamma mia, how you worry. Ukay, well, let’s shee.
(hunches over; sniffs the gas tank like a dog. Inhales deeply)