Instructor: [slap] Why why why are you going to the left?
Myself: Because there’s a trash bin on the side of the road and I’m afraid of hitting it.
Instructor: That doesn’t mean you have to weave all over the place. Stay straight! You need to look straight ahead! You almost hit that oldie. Madonnnnnnnnnnnnna. Why? [slap]
Myself: But I hate the trash bins.
Instructor: It seems more like you hate oldies.
Myself: I don’t hate oldies.
Instructor: Oh, really? Because you almost took that one out.
Myself: I thought it wasn’t PC to say ‘oldies’ anymore. I thought you had to say ‘ancient person.’
Instructor: You can say it. It’s not bad. Go into second now. Dammit, that’s fourth. [slap]
Myself: Oldie. Oldie. Oldie.
Instructor: And now you almost got that other one. Keep your eyes straight; stop looking at the oldies.
Myself: I can’t stop looking at them. They’re there. I have to look at them.
Instructor: Why do you hate oldies? Now you almost got two of them, that couple over there.
Myself: Two for the price of one!
Instructor: Yes, that’s right.
Myself: I won’t stop until I get them all.
Instructor: I’d just be happy if you kept your eyes on the road.