So something I do when I’m not stuffing my face with junk food writing my novel at the office is go to the gym and work out. Yes, you read that correctly; me, who won the 2004 Olympic Gold Medal for Ass-Sitting. Who would always, always, rather be asleep than be awake. Who has coasted […]
Italy
Office
The office is where I am these days; that is, the 113 year-old bar in the Centro with my laptop and my cell phone and my glass of vibrant orange Crodino. I’ve officially become a great big ball of novel-writing momentum, which is why I’m there and not here with ye would be-pigeon eaters but […]
Breaking Ground
25 degrees today – pure joy! – and caught sight of my first tourists; ill-fitting clothes, foreign faces, and blank expressions. It shocked me that they were so easily identifiable; makes me wonder how clueless I seemed last summer when I arrived myself. But they’re breaking ground on the beach now – resurrecting the summertime […]
Katarina, like most of my friends here in Italy, is unemployed. She was employed – personal assistant to a famous actress in Rome – but that actress be crazy and Katarina, who has a master’s in Linguistics, wasn’t about to be scrubbing no toilet bowls. But there’s a crisis on right now; vice-tight here in […]
The World’s Best Excuse for Being Late
So years ago, in another life, I worked retail at an antique shop in SoHo. This was many years ago, before living in Japan shook all the tardiness out of me; when I habitually strolled into workplaces and classrooms and restaurants 10-15 minutes late: The train, the bus. Grand Central was crazy. I couldn’t get […]
Ten Popular Songs on Italian Radio and Why I Hate Most of Them
So one of the things that I do while I’m driving around town and having Daffy Duck moments is listen to the radio. It turns out that there are about ten songs the DJs play over and over… but over and over. Like, turn on the radio and it’s 100% guaranteed you will find one […]
Rate Mario’s Ass… and Other Stories
I have new friends. I have new friends! It’s Saturday night and we have plans. We have plans. I have plans! We’re going to Gaeta for dinner and then dancing. We’re going to Gaeta for dinner and then dancing! Dinner! And! Dancing! It’s about to get real, y’all, and you don’t even know. There are […]
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Screw the Foreigner
So they play a little game here in town – quite similar to kancho, my absolute favorite thing about living in Japan. I call the game Tutti a Fregà la Straniera – or, Let’s All Screw the Foreigner. It’s an old game, an ancient game, but still highly popular and from what I understand, it’s […]
Errands; Rain
And I spoke too soon – it’s back, the Italian winter rain; slanted and stinging and freezing cold. It starts in the morning, slows to a sputter a few minutes before siesta, and then it’s on again, full force, as soon as I step out of the apartment. Puddles sopping up my pant leg; my […]
The Beach in Winter
And now, after a month eating my face off back home in the States with my loved ones, we’re back in Italy. The weather is beautiful, the sea is luscious, and I’m eating pasta again after a 30-day pasta detox. The people I know here say that nothing new has happened since I’ve been away […]