Frog Yoga

Like many little girls with generous, well-intentioned parents, I was sent to dance classes. Though I'm sure they were thrilled to see me prancing around in the spangly, sequined costumes of the 80s, even Underwater Saffron Snorting would have been a better fit; my coordination, grace, and desire were absolutely nonexistent. All of my unfortunate

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Typical

Hello! How are you? Six years old, very good, but how are you? How are you? ... good? Great? Not so good? Good? Okay! Would you like a cushion? No, no, would you like to sit down? Sit down. Sit down. Yes, please! Good girl! Homework! Yes, homework. Open your books. Open your books. Open

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Cold

It's really ungrateful, isn't it, that I complain about my utilities bill - in December, 4810 yen* - when the standard bill of unfair back home in Manhattan was usually more like $200. The problem, I've realized, with being able to save money is that it's never enough; if I can save 160 dollars on

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Scenes of New York

Yesterday, somewhere between Kankokumura and Ishioka, the customary numb silence permeating any Japanese train was pierced when an elderly man began to berate the spiky-heeled and spiky-haired young woman next to him. I understood "ashi*!" and lots of "te" form verbs (often used for commands) and deduced that he was upset with her because, perhaps,

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Spaz-tistics

Stats taken during the 4-kyuu exam, as collected during sweeping surveys of room 404: 3 test segments 104 questions 40 test takers 17 Caucasians 4 annoying college girls who giggled and bragged about answers they got right in between exam segments 13 moments of panic 6 moments of insecurity 30 potential test-taking minutes wasted by

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